days go on.

in two weeks i will be here for 5 months. it's crazy how fast time flies by. and even if i do miss some things sometimes, like my old eating habits [haha, seriously, someone stop me from eating], i really like it here, especially the travelling part.

last wednesday i went to chicago again, for one night. just to see greg laswell live. it's only been the second concert here i actually paid for, the rest of them were free. which is crazy, because i've seen so many concerts, far more than i've expected before i came here. it's also because of my amazing hostmum who lets me go there, even if it's only a night. and i love going to chicago. it's always like a small vacation. 

before i went there i didn't know what it was going to be like. nothing good had happened so far this year. but i was convinced that everything was going to change as soon as it was february. i knew everything was going to turn around. life, luck, love.

and it did. on february 1st i received two super important packets. the first one was my birthday-present i've been waiting for since christmas. the other one was the one with my two blend shirts that got lost the first time - with 4 stickers and a love note i could have never even wished for. as soon as i saw the postman i knew my luck had turned around. really crazy. 

[don't send me any more chocolate, pleeeeease!]

all of a sudden i could book the flights to california, which did not work in january [for whatever reason]. yeah, that's right. i'm going to california - san diego, los angeles and san francisco to be precise. i still don't believe it. toni and i are really going to see those beautiful cities in less than a month. today, i booked some more stuff like the flight back home and a train from san diego to LA. so we're going to see the beach, hopefully some sun and are going to meet some beautiful people. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

and then i went back to chicago. the place is growing on me and i haven't even seen it in summer yet. it's the place where i can be. and i feel welcome there. the guys i'm staying with are gorgeous - tom, dan, jery and sagar. i love hanging out there. 

but this time my main reason was to see greg laswell in evanston, il. since i poorly failed to watch his performance at joe's pub on my first day in the united states with adam - remember, i got lost?! - i really wanted to see him again [not just talk to him and his band]. and it was so worth it. again, my music taste never disappoints me. because these people are real. they stand on a stage with nothing more than a guitar [or a piano. sometimes with a full band] and make a night out perfect. this was my first [paid] concert i went to completely on my own and here in the states most of them are seated. so i sat in that crowd between all those couples. tons of them. 

tim schurrer supported greg, instead of rosi golan who got sick. he sang all those songs about his wife, about love and happy relationships. i kind of felt lost there. only the last song was about being single and he asked the crowd who is. am i?

tim schurrer

as greg hit the stage all those thoughts were gone. he created such a warm and intimate atmosphere. i guess there were around 200-300 people there, everyone could ask questions at any time and wish for songs. as someone requested 'off i go' i prayed he would play it. he almost got in a fight with the girl requesting it [he was joking] by saying it would only make sense with the whole band, but he'll be back in may. hopefully with them, because they are such nice guys!! the show lasted almost three hours. three hours of beautiful music and lots of jokes. i left that venue with a huge smile on my face. i have to see this guy again!

greg laswell

returning to the guys' apartment made me even happier. it's so much easier for me to hang out with guys than with girls. and it's so much more fun. thank you guys, you are awesome!

so my new year, which started february 1st, is awesome. i feel like i passed the test or whatever january was. it could only get better. and it did. i am pretty happy right now. 

next weekend i am going to be in chicago again. and it's valentines day. so go tell someone you love them. i did and i will.

schreibe dir.

ok, so this is for my family, 

my friends [especially nadine, florian, sofia, dilyan, weylo, sigi & michael, basti, bene, yvonne, gunther & carole, ...] 

and everyone else who wants to know what's going on in my life right now.

i am sorry i can't write back to everyone or answer my skype/facebook chat, i don't have even time to take my pill [which takes about 2 seconds] at the right time!! don't be mad or something, it's not that i don't want to or forget about you, i just can't.

i'll write this in english and german...might not be exactely the same, but then nobody can complain about not understanding me. [i'm sorry i can't do this every time. this is an exception!]

english first, just because it's easier:

i'm fine, i'm alright. i've been in the states now for more than four months and after that time you kind of find out what's good and what could be better. and you start a life here. you make friends [more or less], figure out how to drive those big cars [haha, i'm coming around], which way to go, how to organize your day and how to talk to each of the kids. other things, i still can't figure out. these are the ones i write about mostly. the big questions in life about love and the future.

i'm really good today. it's been a cold, but sunny day! doesn't happen often. the weather is the same as in germany. snowy and mostly dark, so today i had my day off and i had to get out! as some of you might know, during the past couple of weeks, i got myself a guitar and a hula-hoop. so today i hooped on and walked over our frozen lake. it's a huge one and i've never done that before. it was just amazing. as soon as the sun is out, i'm happy. come what may. and i can't wait for summer. i know i need to live somewhere where the sun shines mostly every day.

because this past couple of weeks i've been kind of depressed. i don't know if it was the weather or all the things that happened, i just felt pretty low. so i decided that my year starts tomorrow, february 1.

for those who don't know what was going on, i had two car accidents [one in december - not my fault, and one on january 3 or 4 - a really scary one], my birthday wasn't what i expected it to be and there were another couple of things going wrong. right now, i suggest that everyone should stay away from me and my bad luck ;)

but last year, i already travelled a lot, mostly to new york, a bit in michigan and to chicago. this year, i'll see san francisco, san diego, los angeles, hilton head island [south carolina], chicago, hawai'i for sure and hopefully las vegas and new york again. this is the plan.

my daily life looks like that: i get up at 5.50am, wake up the kids at 6.10am, get them ready for school, go to college myself at 8am and/or to the gym to work out a bit [cardio - i got much better!!, stretching - big improvement as well!, sauna and take yoga/pilates classes]. then i might take a nap and start working again around 2.30pm until 8/8.30pm. after that i pretty much always go straight to bed, watch some series, study or write a mail, upload some picture, etc. [yeah, not too much, i know.]. and that's it. when you do that every day, with four kids to take care of and fight with every day, there's not that much energy left to write 10 mails. i read all of them with great joy, but replying is kinda hard. hope you understand that a bit.

during the weekends i might have a day off and sometimes i'm in the mood to chat with everyone, but i mostly want to have kind of my own life where i eat when i want to, sleep as much as i want and do whatever i want. just to stay sane. 

or i go away. chicago seems to be the most relaxing destination for that at the moment. i'll be there again from february 12-14. i usually stay with tom and dan [and the two other guys, if they're there], drink, play beer pong, sleep and do not really do anything at all. i know this'll change during summer, but when it's 10*F outside, i prefer to stay inside with some cute guys and shut my brain off. i don't have internet there, too.

other weekends, i went to the union with camilla, the swedish aupair who leaves in a few weeks, just to have some mojitos [best ever], food [pretty good too] and chat with the bartenders [jep, everything is pretty good there ;)] or to the movies. sometimes i travel. but that's it. besides that i struggle with some things i write about here.

what's new then? i got a haircut a few days ago.

i try to learn how to play the guitar [but still need some good lessons and have hardly any time]. i try to learn some hooping tricks. i eat way too much. i got myself some new blend apparel shirts [2 of them got lost - of course, it's january! - but new ones are on their way]. i'll be in chicago wednesday night for a rosi golan/greg laswell concert and my good friend toni is coming on feb 23 for a month to rock the john mayer concert, michigan, chicago and california with me!

that's about all i can tell. to me it sounds pretty boring right now, but i try to rock every day. i love the family i'm staying with, they are AMAZING. honestly, wow! 

what has changed?

after two years of being single and haven't kissed a single guy, i started that again. i drink more alcohol than i have back in germany. i weigh about 10 pounds more, but i work out more, too. i discovered some new artists and spend way too much money. i'm a starbucks addict and became a bit more moody lately.

yeah, that's my life. and i love it. even when i don't sound like that sometimes. 

because the best is yet to come!

german oder auch deutsch ;)

das ist der viel schwierigere part fuer mich. nicht weil ich kein deutsch mehr kann [obowhl meine saetze ziemlich umstaendlich werden koennen], vielmehr weil es so viel einfacher ist sich in englisch auszudruecken. naja, ein versuch ists wert.

mir geht es gut. wir hatten heute einen superschoenen sonnentag in michigan. kommt hier wie in deutschland nicht allzu oft vor. und ich hatte meinen freien tag [kommt auch nicht zu oft vor], also anstatt in meinem zimmer zu bleiben, hab ich mir meinen hula-hoop geschnappt und bin raus aufs eis. der gesamte see, an dem unser haus liegt, ist zugefroren. sogar so sehr, dass autos drauf fahren koennten [obwohl ich da immer noch etwas skeptisch bin]. er ist zugeschneit und war einfach wunderschoen den glitzernden schnee zu sehen und auf die andere seite zum country club zu laufen. ich brauch wirklich nur sonnenschein um gluecklich zu sein. deswegen koennte ich in michigan oder deutschland schwer gluecklich werden.

die letzten wochen waren nicht die besten. nach 2009 sogar ziemlich heftig schlecht. ich hatte meinen 2.autounfall, einen net ganz so tollen geburtstag und viele andre sachen, die schief gegangen sind. deswegen hab ich mir vorgenommen, dass mein 2010 morgen, montag, einfaengt. mal sehen, wie das laeuft. es kann eigentlich nur besser werden.

absgesehen von januar gehts mir hier eigentlich ziemlich gut. ich habe eine wahnsinns-familie! vor allem meine hostmum ist der hammer. mein gastbruder [leider?] auch. das anna hat sich ein wenig verliebt. aber das ist der lauf der dinge schaetze ich. ich war lange single ohne auch nur irgendjemanden gekuesst zu haben. in der hinsicht hat sich mein leben hier ein wenig veraendert. leider scheint es hier aber auch schwieriger zu sein, ne beziehung anzufangen. oder ich verlieb mich mal wieder in den falschen kerl. aber dazu mehr in meinem blog - allerdings auf englisch ;)

sonst reise ich ein wenig. hab letztes jahr new york, chicago und einiges von michigan gesehen. dieses jahr gehts nach chicago, san francisco, san diego, los angeles und hilton head island [south carolina]. und hoffentlich auch nach las vegas [versuch immer noch tom zu ueberreden, drueckt mal die daumen!] und wieder nach new york. und natuerlich hawai'i im september/oktober!

meine tagesablauf ist wie folg [damit man versteht warum ich mich so wenig melde - hoffentlich]. wecker klingelt das erste mal um 5.30, aufstehen tue ich dann gegen 5.50 und wecke die kids 6.10 uhr auf. wenn die aus der tuer sind [7.25] fahre ich an die uni und/oder ins fitnessstudio. dann hab ich eventuell ne stunde oder zwei fuer mich, in der ich gerne schlafe. gegen 14.30 fang ich dann wieder mit dem arbeiten an, dauert bis 20/20.30 uhr. vergebt mir, wenn ich danach nur noch energie zum serien gucken und kopf abschalten hab. nebenbei muss ich auch noch was fuer die uni machen. lalalalalala life is wonderful...

also sorry! falls ich nicht immer/selten antworte. ich hab halt kaum zeit fuer mich. an den wochenenden hab ich dann meistens einen tag frei, der mir gehoert. ich bin entweder in chicago - der einzige ort an dem ich wirklich ich bin, alles geniesse und meinen kopf abschalte, feiere, kuschel und sonst was tue - oder daheim. so wie heute. wenn ich dann jedem antworten soll, war das mein tag. sorry, das klingt alles viel gemeiner als es gemeint ist [deutsch, bah.].

heute habe ich meinen tag also mit hula-hooping, essen, serien gucken, schlafen und jetzt blog schreiben verbracht. es ist mittlerweile 22.37uhr und ich muss noch 3 verlaufsplaene schreiben und ueber 100 seiten lesen. what a life.

sonst hab ich ne neue frisur [siehe oben], hab mir ne gitarre [hab aber mal wieder zu wenig zeit und keinen, der mir das wirklich beibringt ausser tom (in chicago) und toni (die erst gegen ende februar hier her kommt)], neue blend shirts und nen hula hoop gekauft. ich hab mindestens 5 kilo zugenommen, liebe starbucks, bin aber fitter als noch in deutschland, LIEBE yoga und bin ein wenig launisch in letzter zeit. was zum groessten teil an dem liegt, worueber ich hier sonst in meinem blog oder bei twitter schreibe.

aber es geht mir gut, weil das beste noch vor uns liegt.

[sorry, das hier war eine ausnahme mit dem deutsch. ich mag es wirklich nicht.]

starting now.

yesterday, leah asked me "what will you do when you get back to germany and do not live with your parents anymore?". it got me thinking. actually, i've been thinking about that a lot lately, what i want to do with my life. and let me tell you this: i have no plan. i don't know if i'll ever become a primary school teacher, if i someday want to have kids and if i even might consider living in germany afterall.

right now, i don't even know who i am. i am a girl. i currently live in kalamazoo, michigan with a great family. but this job gives me hardly any time to find out who i really am. i am stuck in a daily routine with not much room for creativity or personal time. i don't blame anyone for that, don't get me wrong. that's what i chose and i feel more than blessed to have the chance to experience another culture, to live in another country for more than a year. i already saw much more than the majority of people on this planet will ever do. i met AMAZING people and leaving some of them will be the hardest part to do. so i am truly thankful for everything that happens.

even though, i don't know who i am and where i will be in a year or two, i know who i want to become. i have a vision of myself, but no date or deadline. i just know that in the end i want to be love. i want to be that energetic, happy, guitar-playing, everyday yoga and gratitude-practicing, hoola-hooping, beautiful, loving, spiritual, passionate, surfing girl that is kind of a hippie, loves everyone, is in good shape, gives, forgives, gets back to her friends immediately and lives her dream [when i finally found out what that is].

yeah, that's pretty much the vision i have of myself. i am trying to work on that, every day.

and just today i found a blog that i instantly fell in love with. some of you might know who she is, i just think she is one of the most beautiful girls i've ever seen - inside out. she is just 24 [like me], but seems to be everything i want to be some time from now.

as i went through her posts i found the following new year's resolutions she made for 2009. i love them, but as i said before, everyday should be the new year. so these are things we all should try to accomplish every day. i am starting now.

1. take a 10-30 minute walk every day. and while you walk, smile. it is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. [buy a DVR and tape your late night shows] and get more sleep.

4. when you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'my purpose is to ______ today.'

5. live with the 3 e's -- energy, enthusiasm, and empathy.

6. play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. make time to practice meditation, and prayer. they provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. dream more while you are awake.

10. eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. drink green tea and plenty of water. eat blueberries, wild alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. don't waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. smile and laugh more. it will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.

18. life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. don't take yourself so seriously. no one else does.

21. you don't have to win every argument. agree to disagree.

22. make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. don't compare your life to others'. you have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. no one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'in five years, will this matter?'

26. forgive everyone for everything.

27. what other people think of you is none of your business.

28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.

29. however good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. your job won't take care of you when you are sick. your friends will. stay in touch.

31. get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. envy is a waste of time. you already have all you need.

33. the best is yet to come.

34. no matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. do the right thing!

36. call your family often. (or email them to death!!!)

37. each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: i am thankful for __________. today I accomplished _________.

38. remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. enjoy the ride. remember this is not disney world and you certainly don't want a fast pass. you only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. please forward this to the one's you care about.

"our lives are brief. tell someone you love them. cry. eat good food. make something that you are proud of. live your life with big joy." 

- ingrid michaelson

and give ♥, to everyone. it is worth the weight.

what happened to bulletproof weeks?

on january 1, i was starting to believe that 2010 is jinxed. it all started with this feeling in my gut that nothing, absolutely NOTHING can top 2009. and then it developed with plans i couldn't manage to realize in new york and people letting me down.

ok, these are things you can overcome.

then we got to the airport and our flight was delayed. first for 20 minutes, then 45 and then 1.5 hours due to strong winds in laguardia.

ok, no big deal...we'll be home at 2am instead of midnight.

the plan was to drive the blue jeep back home to kalamazoo, which is normally a 2.5h ride. but it was snowing. a lot. in michigan and indiana. camilla was driving her car [the exact same one], i was mine - much more slowly. what happened? i got in a car accident i thought i would die in. this moment was one of the worst of my life. i just sat in that car praying to god to not let me die. but ok, a guardrail saved my life, the car was not totally broken and i could drive it home and my hostmum was more concered about me than the car.

so what's the big deal?

being back in kalamazoo, i finally managed to get my book for my college-class just to find out a few  hours later that i'm not even registered.

ok, i can deal with that...it just means running back and forth to the college and trying to fix things.

then it was my birthday. hey, hey...turning 24. wow. amazing [IRONY]. i never liked my birthday and never really celebrated it. i think i will get back to that habit. because i tried to be positive about it. i really did. then i got a mail from my parents telling me how left alone they feel. and ONE present [i don't care much about the present itself, but the gesture is still kind of nice] from camilla. and ONE phonecall from one of my [best] friends. and i made the cake with the candles on it myself and i worked and i cooked. and we went out and i felt as lonely as never before. [ok, i got to stop, i start crying again].

yeah well, that's life, isn't it?

so here i am now. i fixed some things, others are still broken. or unfulfilled. and all there is left is hope.

hope, that it gets better if you just try hard enough.

i still feel like 2010 won't be my year. there is something bothering me, trying to bring me down and i can't name what it is, neither can i say how to fix it. these day, i feel my life is like a rollercoaster. there are good days and there are the ones all i want to do is breakdown and cry.

one of those days i decided to make a change and get myself something that will take my mind off my worries. so i got myself a guitar. i proudly own it now for three days and i love it. guitar music is something that can make me cry. but it also calmes me down. so it's kind of therapeutic. i'm not good at it [at all - since i'm just a beginner], but it is great to learn something new, to have a goal again and to feel like i can influence something in my life again and make it better.

i won't stop and just give up. i will fight for certain things in my life. but all i can do is love. and hope.

for happiness. for love. for bulletproof weeks.

this is for toni. for her love and inspiration.
thank you.

this is the new year.

new york, new york. a part of my heart will always be in that city. she is beautiful, diverse and definitely not boring. there is so much to see and so many people to meet. i prefer the summer though.

it was amazing to come back, to meet some special people again and to be free. as soon as the plane hit the ground of laguardia, there was a huge smile on my face. it felt like coming home. i can really see myself living in that city for a couple of years [considering that i get bored easily and that i don't need the cold, i probably wouldn't stay for the rest of my life]. i love it to get on the green line in harlem and watch the skin-color change with every stop [it's crazy (not in a good way) how that separation still exists in the states!!]. i love it to sit on the subway with the people on my right speaking french, on my left speaking spanish and the ones standing in front of me japanese. and i love the people rushing by because they're in a hurry to get to their next appointment. love.

we got there to celebrate new year's on times square. that was the plan. but life is what happens when you make plans, right?

we were told that if you really want to see the ball drop, you have to be there by 2pm. standing in the freezing cold without any drink for at least ten hours? no, thank you.

so i changed my plans and did what had been on my mind anyway: going to the rockwood. my favorite venue in new york city to see some of my favorite artists perform. and here's the shoking thing: when i was in  new york the only singer-songwriter i saw were FEMALE! i don't know what happened to me. normally, i don't fall for them at all. i mean i love allie moss to death, but listening to her album for more than a few times per month drives me crazy. she is stunningly talented and beautiful and just awesome, but there is something in female voices that annoys me after a while. [the only exeption is ingrid michaelson, like i said before.]

i overcame that and went to the rockwood nonetheless. allie moss was first that night. i saw her twice before, but that was when she was performing with ingrid michaelson, singing backing harmonies and playing the guitar. it was great to finally see her on her own! and in this hour i totally fell in love with her and her voice.

lauren zettler, chris kuffner, allie moss, bess rogers, elliot jacobson.

that night, right after allie, it was bess rogers' turn (you can see her playing with allie as well in the picture). i like to call them 'one big family'. i think they really are. allie moss, bess rogers, chris kuffner [bass], elliot jacobson [drums] and dan romer [bass] all toured with ingrid through the states. they also play with adam christgau, ian axel, jenny owen youngs, greg holden, and so on.

when we came in the door, i instantly recognized so many faces, even joshua radin, amber rubarth and alex berger were there (beside all the other ones already named). crazy, but so amazing.

 chris kuffner, bess rogers, dan romer.

well anyway, bess rogers and the flux capacitors were next on.

honestly, i expected bess to perform her own songs, because i had no idea that when she plays with dan, chris and adam (aka the flux capacitors), they cover songs. it was so much fun! here they are [together w/ allie moss] performing michael jacksons 'beat it'. awesomeness!

 so this was my new years. filled with tons of good music, familiar faces and a place i could call home. this was my best new years ever. just because i was surrounded by people and music i love. i don't need anything else.

after we saw the performances, we headed back to our hostel to get a bottle of champagne and then to brooklyn bridge. hey, drinking in public in new york! ;)

it was the perfect ending to the best year i've ever had. it felt like everything was coming together. all the people i met throughout the year, the friends i made [even if you weren't there physically, you are always in my heart and thoughts] and the music.

2010. the new year.

hard to say what it would bring at that time. but i wanted to keep on doing what i've done and how i lived my life. so when i found out about jenny owen youngs playing at the city winery saturday night, i didn't have to think twice. if you ever watched 'weeds' [in germany it's 'weeds - kleine deals unter nachbarn'] you probably know the song 'fuck was i'.

but the song that drew me to her was 'last person', her latest single. the video for that one is just awesome. all these people, the whole family are in there and the song just rocks!

but the rest of the songs are pretty good as well. and if i say something like that it might mean something, because of my usual aversion against female singer-songwriters. listen to her, buy her stuff.

so we enjoyed her performance eating and drinking and sitting. it's still weird to sit at a concert where you could totally rock out and dance. but she was great!!! i love her.

that night, emily wells performed after jenny. i never heard of her before, but i think they met during the hotel cafe tour. i wouldn't declare her as a 'singer-songwriter'. she's more a multi-talented, rapping and singing, gorgeous girl. she was the only one on stage and used some kind of recording technique [don't ask me, i just saw it once before: ingrid michaelson performing 'nightswimming' with a pedal where you record one part and you then can play it in a loop (? something like that)]. she played  the violin and a bunch of other instruments. mindblowing. she was really, really good. but [yeah...sorry, tried to avoid that word] i like the guitar stuff, so it just wasn't my favorite kind of music.

 

so that's it. i tried something new. i loved those girls. they totally know how to rock and how to  make me cry and laugh and dance. i'm glad i gave girls another chance. it definitly won't be the last time i saw them live.

i still missed the boys though. it doesn't matter how much the girls got me, the guys are still no.1. nothing can compare to a greg holden singing with his beautiful voice, a john mayer rocking the guitar like no one else or and ian axel bewitching me with his songs. his latest single is the one this blog is named after. 'this is the new year' out of his album 'this is the new year' which came out january 5 and is available at itunes and amazon. i want all of you to get it, because it's amazing. his single was even featured as the single of the week at itunes [i hope it still is, so you can get it FOR FREE!!] and the album itself is available for just 5.99$!!. you will love it, i'm sure.

 

when we saw him the first time in hamburg and he played that song, he said: "every day should be the new year" and i agree. don't make resolutions just one time a year. make them every day. and try to fulfill them every day. where is the point in saying "no more candy this year" or "i will stop smoking"? you have to tell you every day and fight for that goal. because every day is a new beginning, every day you have the chance to start over. what has happened to you yesterday is not happening right now and might not happen to you tomorrow. so don't worry about all the things that have gone wrong and try to make the best out of every day, every day. smile and try new things, set a goal for each day. and start slowly. don't put too much pressure on you by having to quit what you love(d) to do within one day. babysteps are also progress. and i might not be there today where i want to be in the end, like a non-smoker or a guitar player or 10 pounds lighter, but there are a few things you can change today to get there. but don't forget to love yourself for who you are TODAY. because this is who you are today. you are here today, right now. you are living. don't live in the past or future. be present and change what you can change right now. we are all human and make mistakes and might not be perfect, but i like to believe that everyone of us is perfect in it's own way. i don't care about how much someone weighs, if they smoke or how they dress. this is who they are right now and they deserve to be loved.

and that's my goal every day. to love the people around me.

LOVE. that's all we need and all we have.

happy new year!